Treat yourself fairly

While sometimes it is good to be criticized, by other people or by yourself, too much criticism can kill your self esteem, your confidence and motivation. 

I don't mind being judged by anyone. When I think that their remarks are making sense, I simply implement the changes in order to improve myself. Sometimes it takes a while for me to understand and accept some comment, but even if the reality hurts,  I try to stay honest with myself.  

We have one life, and it's fair to say that everyone can live it as it pleases. 
But, why live in a lie? The reality can be hard at the moment, and that moment may take years to pass, but eventually it will, and if we surround our world with lies, then, at the end of the road, when the night comes and we can't ignore our consciousness anymore what lie are we going to tell next? That we did our best? That may be we didn't have the possibilities? 

The honesty is the key to happy life. If something isn't working out the way you've planned, then you can try harder either give up, but don't cheat to yourself thinking that everything will be okay, although you do nothing to influence the slightest change. 

By staying sincere, a person should know where to stop with the self criticism. A pill can save a life, but it cake take it easily away if overdosed.   

Don't be harsh on yourself, dear me.

Do I have the possibilities?

Oh yes, I do! 

The funny thing about giving up is that I almost stopped feeling guilty. 
I have became so good with the excuses that they started to sound very much believable in my ears. You know, tell the same lie again and again and you won't be able to distinguish the truth anymore. 

I started to write this entry few times, but then, what can I tell and not sound repetitive? 
I had opportunities, I still do. 

The important thing is that this time I should go after them, pursue them with vigor and passion, and do that 'till I finish what I started. 

I have internet connection, and with that alone I can achieve much. 

Challenging and  bringing even the slightest change in the course of my thoughts makes me happy and grateful for the small things. I mean, really, how much does one person need to feel truly happy and content? 

I need a little.

Challenge Yourself

A new challenge it's the same as fresh motivation for me. When I'm trying something new, my head is spinning with ideas so that this journey would be more fun. But this is where I'm pulling the brakes.

I'm not psychology major, actually my educational degree is quite different from what I'm trying to achieve  here, but I think that with hard work and dedication anything is within our reach. I write this as I go, and in the time to come I might even contradict myself, but hey, that's the way I'm. 

Today I challenge myself to take a small step in one direction and observe the changes. 

That's actually pretty hard thing to do. Even just writing this online makes me overwhelmed and my attention starts to slide towards something else. 

Challenge no.1 is to not get distracted. 

When I set big goals, I'm getting demotivated simply because I'm scared that I won't be able to perform the way I expect myself to. I de-focus and that's it. Sometimes I'm thinking that I should drop everything and live like a nomad, but that doesn't sound that appealing even when I'm in the downest of down moods. After getting defocused I can't collect my thoughts back in place and afterwards I spend the whole day doing almost nothing. Not even eating. 

But, this entry was supposed to be brighter than that! 

The condition I described above is what I'm dealing with just after short charge of positive and inspiring thoughts. Luckily, this is all in my head which means that I can control it, just with a tiny bit of concentration and wish. 

Back on track. The best and at the same time the worst thing about being disappointed by your own expectations is that you have to deal with that only with your consciousness. My consciousness hates me for the chaotic world my head lives in. I had apologized too many times, it has became a cliche even for me to admit. This is where I should say that it won't happen again, but that's a lie because it will. It happened today while I was writing about it and I almost wanted to give up, again. 

I believe in new chances, each day is a new one, each breath is a possibility do say or do something good. I will fail again, but even so I will learn how to be a better person, because every second it's a new beginning.

Challenge yourself. That's the best way to discover what's bothering you deep down, but be honest. Nobody's perfect and that's just the way it's supposed to be. Maybe even the strongest of us sometimes crumble under the pressure of just living and breathing, or maybe not, I haven't been that strong yet, so can't say... 

New Beginning

It took me a while to decide whether to write about this or not, but it seems like it's the right thing to do.

I'm not lazy, nor stupid, but I'm very irresponsible when it comes to doing the things I want and need to do in order to keep up with the world. Sometimes I think life would be easier way way back when there wasn't as much competition, but then, it would be harder on other fronts, so I quickly dismiss those thoughts.

Thus, the name of this blog, which says a lot I guess.

In my almost quarter of a century long life I came to a conclusion that I'm hardly the only one who's struggling with lack of motivation, and this made me think that maybe I should work harder on staying tuned constantly which lead to creating this piece of cloud. It made me think that maybe if someone else read this, then I would have to write again and in time this will turn into a habit and that habit into discipline... or the other way around.

Anyways.

When it comes to problems, the most effective way to get rid of them is to admit that you have them in the first place. After this big step, you are supposed to dig through your memory or make a quick search about what caused those problems which eventually will lead to understanding whose fault it was, and last but not least, you have to deal with the problem based on their cause. If you don't know what is the cause, then it will be hard to determinate what is the right solution, which brings this back to me and my irresponsibility.

It was very hard to decide what is the reason for my behavior and in all those sleepless nights when I was going through my brains about what is wrong with me, it was always easier to lay the blame on my parents and on the society around me. I thought that they had spoiled me so bad, that they had set the wrong example and now I'm beyond the point of fixing anything for the better. But I was wrong. If the person is mentally and physically capable of taking care for themselves, then every decision they make should be their own to blame. I can relate myself to this.

This first post is one of the many to come. One that made me think that I waste my potential, do nothing other that occasionally make lists about the things I'm supposed to achieve.

This will be the millionth start, one more to add when I criticize myself for giving up too often.