Challenge Yourself

A new challenge it's the same as fresh motivation for me. When I'm trying something new, my head is spinning with ideas so that this journey would be more fun. But this is where I'm pulling the brakes.

I'm not psychology major, actually my educational degree is quite different from what I'm trying to achieve  here, but I think that with hard work and dedication anything is within our reach. I write this as I go, and in the time to come I might even contradict myself, but hey, that's the way I'm. 

Today I challenge myself to take a small step in one direction and observe the changes. 

That's actually pretty hard thing to do. Even just writing this online makes me overwhelmed and my attention starts to slide towards something else. 

Challenge no.1 is to not get distracted. 

When I set big goals, I'm getting demotivated simply because I'm scared that I won't be able to perform the way I expect myself to. I de-focus and that's it. Sometimes I'm thinking that I should drop everything and live like a nomad, but that doesn't sound that appealing even when I'm in the downest of down moods. After getting defocused I can't collect my thoughts back in place and afterwards I spend the whole day doing almost nothing. Not even eating. 

But, this entry was supposed to be brighter than that! 

The condition I described above is what I'm dealing with just after short charge of positive and inspiring thoughts. Luckily, this is all in my head which means that I can control it, just with a tiny bit of concentration and wish. 

Back on track. The best and at the same time the worst thing about being disappointed by your own expectations is that you have to deal with that only with your consciousness. My consciousness hates me for the chaotic world my head lives in. I had apologized too many times, it has became a cliche even for me to admit. This is where I should say that it won't happen again, but that's a lie because it will. It happened today while I was writing about it and I almost wanted to give up, again. 

I believe in new chances, each day is a new one, each breath is a possibility do say or do something good. I will fail again, but even so I will learn how to be a better person, because every second it's a new beginning.

Challenge yourself. That's the best way to discover what's bothering you deep down, but be honest. Nobody's perfect and that's just the way it's supposed to be. Maybe even the strongest of us sometimes crumble under the pressure of just living and breathing, or maybe not, I haven't been that strong yet, so can't say...